Oblong Is Not Wrong

The world we live in is a world that needs to change.  From terrorism to picking on the ugly kid, our earth is cluttered with hate and discrimination.  This all being said, you don’t need to start big to make a difference.

“I can’t do anything. I’m just one person!” exclaimed a man on the street, a stack of PlayBoy magazines falling out of his tattered briefcase.

What the man failed to notice was that he needed to change everything about himself.  Or, at least, what he stood for.

“I just wanna be able to walk down the street eating a banana without being victimized like some sort of trollop,” a supporter of the Oblong Is Not Wrong movement declared.  The movement began earlier this afternoon when a group of cheerleaders were raising money at a local hotdog stand for Special Olympics Chicago.  The aforementioned Man With Briefcase was found sitting on a bench across the street from the stand, watching the fit teens consume Chicago dogs while on their lunch break.  Instances such as this seem to happen on nearly a daily basis.

Columbia College sophomore Gretchen Lee, pursuing a minor in Journalism, said the inspiration for Oblong Is Not Wrong came from a deeply-rooted love of hotdogs and distaste for misogyny.  She rallied her closest comrades from Columbia’s PETA Alliance and Young Vegetarians of America Association for the protest of the millennium*.

“If the goop inside my Twinkie just happens to squeeze its way out, then so be it,” shouted student protester Leslie.

Leslie is right. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a light snack or meal, no matter its shape.  If two friends can’t sit down and share some oblong treats together, then maybe this world isn’t capable of change.

Take a look at the embedded picture.  What are your thoughts?  Are they sexual?  If they are, then you’re the problem.

The provocative innuendoes must come so a screeching halt.  As modern philosopher Lindsay Lohan once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

*This is absolutely hilarious because the protest took place in Millennium Park.